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    August 09

    还是不舍

    换享工场
    我也带了东西过去,我的吉他。算不算鸡肋?我也不知道算不算。
    指甲位太出了,根本没办法学吉他。所以也就想拿去看看有没有收获。
    没想兜兜转转,带着吉他走了好几圈,看了又看,还是啥都没换到,也不是没有人想换我的吉他,也不是我没看上别人的东西,可就是换不了。
    想出手了,临答应那一刻,还是不舍。
    它还是我的,心里很固执的认为。虽然我真的很笨,弄了老久也就只是会音阶而已,手指都起泡泡了。看来学吉他是无望的,在我弟房间里它也修养了很久,真的是名副其实的鸡肋。可当鸡腿摆在我面前,我还是不舍,它还是我的。当初买它回来,我是多么的开心。买它是先斩后奏的,拿到它那刻,情绪真的很复杂,没想我同学当真帮我找到一把适合我的吉他,开心中又掺杂着对父母责备的害怕,可也正因为这种害怕掺杂在里面,那种感觉是如此的特别,我现在还记得。
    和它的记忆,大概就只有练习时的无助、沮丧和挫折感。那年冬天也就这样傻傻地抱着它,若喜若惊、若苦若甜地练着。
    对啊,为什么这样?从来都没有发现自己原来那么喜欢我的吉他,到了真的要给别人,才发现心里的不舍。那可怎么办好呢?我不可能学会吉他,它对我来说真的以为着NOTHING。可是,如果我真的可以学呢?它又意味着什么?也就只是我N多把吉他中的一把而已,NOTHING SPECIAL!那究竟它愿意成为我唯一的一把吉他,没任何作用的一把吉他,还是成为有用的但是普通的一把吉他呢?
    我当然不知道,因为吉他不语,吉他又怎么可能语?
     
    还是不舍,我曾经喜欢的,无论后来怎样,我还是不舍,我的教科书还在,或许连不是喜欢的,只要和我有共同记忆的,我还是不舍
    那当然了,我喜欢过的,我肯定不恨  

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